Ghosts

Lord Morpheus has a long memory.


Last night, after the fairly difficult day of dealing with a late candidate (among other things), I woke up at 3 in the morning, driven awake by dreams. Not nightmares. Not exactly.

I am not, by nature, a nostalgic person. Nor do I normally remember my dreams. But my mind dragged out some old memories from my head. Memories that are tied into some very intense but not-very-pleasant emotions. And my mind decided to put those memories into my dreams. And I wake up in the middle of the night with that sort of sick tension that feels like someone has reached into your ribcage and squeezed. That tension followed me around a lot today, haunting me. I had a long drive to and from South Padre Island to pick up some animals for research, which has the unfortunate side effect of giving you too much time to ruminate.

Why is this in my research journal? I'm not sure. I can try to justify it as a proof that yes, I have an emotional life and not just the rational one that dominates my day-to-day job. Maybe it's an attempt to appease the Dream King? (Though he is subtle, and I know not what pleases him.) Or maybe to exorcise the ghosts?

With so many things going on in my life, one thing I often desire is something that no person can give: a good night's sleep.