Bold transformational synergies

Earlier today, my colleagues and I started getting carpet bombed about an announcement tomorrow.

A “bold new plan,” the little graphic says.

The emails we go included admin speak like this:

(W)e are finally at a transformative place...

Everyone, please align your chakras.

(T)he constellations are perfectly—and finally—aligned to bring significant resources to the Valley and create new and powerful synergies...

If this were NASA teasing a forthcoming press release, this is the point where we’d all be going, “OMG, aliens!”

...a plan that we believe will forever transform not only the Valley, but also the State.

Wait, are we going to secede from the union?

This is not mere hyperbole...

Whew. That’s good to know. I agree, it’s not mere hyperbole, it’s exceptional hyperbole.

I’m predicting that the translation of all that will be:

Medical school.

This has been batted about for a good long while now. Some news reports (which I didn’t look at until I read the above) bear this theory out.