Here are my merit badges from Order of the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique.
Troop badge: Okay, I had to fudge a little on this one, because I kind of am into the business of total world domination. (I’m Dr. Zen, for cryin’ out loud! A name like that, and people have expectations...)
Talking science badge: I’m an instructor. I’m paid to talk science.
“I blog about science” badge: You’re reading the evidence that I’ve earned this one. I also have the Marmorkrebs blog. Speaking of which, that qualifies me for...
“Inordinately fond of invertebrate” badge: I’ve worked with octopus, so I guess I can’t bitch about the symbol being a cephalopod instead of a crustacean.
“I’ve done science with no conceivable practical application” badge: Sometimes, you have to be honest.
“Cloner” badge: Marmorkrebs again.
“Experienced with electrical shock” badge (Level I)": Easy one for someone who does electrophysiology. And relax, it's only to small bits of tissue, not entire animals.
“Science has forced me to seek medical attention” badge: It was a loss of footing on some rocks while holding glass.
“Somewhat confused as to what scientific field I actually belong to” badge: Do I study a neuroscience, neurobiology, ethology, neuroethology, evolutionary biology, carcinology, zoology...? It's all biology, I suppose.
“World’s foremost expert on an obscure subject” badge: Nobody knows sand crab digging like this guy.
“I’ve eaten what I study” badge: In my defense, I have not eaten my subjects anywhere near as much as other people would like to eat my subjects. I don’t much care for seafood. And I think I’ve only had the same exact species as I’ve published on once (a small taste of Balmain bugs that I didn’t order).
“I actually grew up and became a marine biologist” badge: I do work with a lot of animals that need salt water.
“Broken heart for science” badge: Some stories are not for telling.
“I somehow convinced someone to part with a lot of money for science” badge (Level I): My REU program.
“I use twitter to spread science” badge: I’m DoctorZen over there.
Update, 22 June 2013: