Schlimmbesserung: A German word that academics need to add to their vocabulary

I have a new entry in my list of German words I like:

“Schlimmbesserung.”

According to Holly Tuten,  it means, “Something that was meant to be an improvement, but actually makes things worse.”

How useful is that? Especially to academics, who often believe that every suggestion reviewers make for a manuscript is a Schlimmbesserung.

It could also be a useful word in biocontrol efforts. What was the introduction of can toads into Australia if not Schlimmbesserung? In fact, I had found people talking about “cane toading” years ago to describe this phenomenon. But it’s nice to have

It is not my favourite German word, though. My favourite German word is “Backpfeifengesicht.” Roughly, a face in need of a punch.  

Related posts

Definition of the moment

Picture from here. 

Type of scientific papers, very specific niche edition

Last week, Randall Munroe started a whole thing with one of his xkcd cartoons, “Types of scientific papers.”

People were inspired to make different versions for their field, then sub-field, then sub-sub-field, so I took the meme to it’s logical conclusion.

Cowboy caterpillar

This is all B.W. Williams’s fault.

• • • • •

Classic.

• • • • •

Adventurous.

• • • • •

Atmospheric.

• • • • •

Vintage.

• • • • •

Post-modern ironic.

• • • • •

Twangy guitar.

• • • • •

Inspired by Jake and Elwood Blues.

• • • • •

Magnificent.

How was your Easter Sunday?

The crackpot index, biology edition

Amanda Glaze wrote:

Can someone with some free time create a crackpot index for biology like the one that exists in physics?

At the very top of that index there needs to be a section for making arguments that foundational research in a field is completely wrong and using a clip art PowerPoint displaying your own theory based on no research whatsoever as a viable alternative.

Challenge accepted!

The likelihood of someone making revolutionary changes in biology:

1. A -5 point starting credit.
2. One point for every statement that already addressed in TalkOrigins.
3. Two points for every exclamation point!
4. Three points for each word in ALL CAPS.
5. Five points for saying that “theories” are less likely to be true than “laws” or “facts.”
6. Five points for every mention of “entropy” or “Second law of thermodynamics.”
7. Ten points for each use of the words “Darwinism” or “Darwinist.”
8. Ten points for arguing a discredited individual should be taken seriously because they were “nominated for a Nobel prize.”
9. Ten points for saying that “Scientists are the ones who aren’t following the evidence.”
10. Ten points for arguing that historically documented events are “statistically impossible.”
11. Ten points for saying a current well-established theory is “only a theory.”
12. Ten points for calling the current theory “a theory in crisis.”
13. Ten points for asserting that evidence only counts if personally witnessed, in real time, by a human being.
14. Twenty points for saying that then things that current theories predict should not happen are huge problems for the theory because nobody has seen them happen.
15. Twenty points for listing people - whether they have any training or experience in the field in question - who “dissent” from current ideas.
16. Twenty points for finishing any claim or argument with the word, “Checkmate!”
17. Twenty points for saying, “Darwin was wrong.”
18. Twenty points for every other scientific discipline that must be wrong in order for your claims to be correct.
19. Twenty points for asking, “Then why are there still monkeys?”
20. Thirty points for asking, “Where are the transitional fossils?”
21. Thirty points for suggesting that scientists on the brink of death recanted their ideas.
22. Thirty points for calling any scientist an “industry shill.”
23. Thirty points for claiming any scientist holds a view “just to keep the grant money coming.”
24. Forty points for taking quotes of a famous scientist out of context so that it appears to support your position (“quote mining”).
25. Fifty points for claiming that your views are being suppressed while writing on a social media platform, blog, or website that is not only discoverable, but lands on the first page of search engine results.

External links

The Crackpot Index

Dungeons and Dragons alignment chart for neurons

Blame Michael Hendricks and Adam Calhoun and Twitter.

No lead is safe

I normally tell people that I hate football. But homesickness makes you do funny things, so I tuned into the last quarter of the Grey Cup last night.

I was rewarded.

At some point, when the lead was still pretty big for Ottawa, one of the commentators said a CFL motto was, “No lead is safe.” I sort of snickered when I heard that. I would not have believed Calgary could score two touchdowns is less than two minutes, with the last coming in with something like 20 seconds left on the clock to force the game into overtime. What a thriller! At that point, it didn’t matter who won, you just had a great championship game.

The Redblacks are new, formed after I moved to the US. I looked a few things up about the team while the game was in progress. When I went to Wikipedia, I wondered if I was on some sort of time delay, because the entry said, “In the 104th Grey Cup, the Redblacks brought the Grey Cup back to Ottawa for the first time in 40 years.” What...? But... but... the game was still going.

When I cam back a few minutes later to get a screen grab of the jumped gun, I saw someone already had some fun with Wikipedia (click to enlarge):

Of course, Redblacks had the last laugh on the irate wiki contributor, pulling off the overtime win.

Even this football hater can’t resist an underdog victory. Congratulations to the Redblacks on their first Grey Cup win!

External links

Redblacks pull off huge upset to win 104th Grey Cup in OT
Redblacks player lays on the field long after everyone leaves, perfectly wrapping up the Grey Cup

Tuesday Crustie: One little letter

From I Can Haz Cheezburger.

Getting too old for this

“We at the Society for Neuroscience would like to take this moment to remind you...

“That you are old. I mean, seriously old. I mean, you think that wizard in Lord of the Rings is old...

“But he hasn’t been a member of the Society for a quarter century now, has he? No he has not.”

#SfN15 bingo

By popular demand!

(Okay, one person asked. And there went a half hour of productivity...)

Update, 19 October 2015: Enough material came in for a second bingo card!

Update, 20 October 2015: I can’t stop myself!

Related posts

Neuroethology bingo
SfN 2013 bingo

Overly honest recruitment ad

I spotted this recruiting ad for an undergraduate research position yesterday:

“You’re Only Limited by Your Imagination!

“and funding”

I’m not sure that this level of candor is attractive, helpful, or necessary for undergraduates.

Time to practice those dance moves

I just promised to learn how to dance to this song with jellyfish biologist Rebecca Helms the next time we’re at a conference together.


It might be SICB in Portland in January.

Oh well, it couldn’t be any worse than when I rapped “Indestructible Sam” at Science Online.

Tuesday Crustie: Before the Internet, there was the Weekly World News

From the Weekly World News, 17 September 2002. You must click to enlarge to fully appreciate the photo...

I’m surprised that nobody has taken this as evidence of immortal lobsters. I do want to use the “lobster facts” call out the next time I talk about crustacean nociception:

They have no cerebral cortex – which means they feel no pain.

Hat tip to Neil Gaiman.

Tuesday Crustie: Chindōgu

I normally don’t emphasize the use of crustaceans as food in this feature... but... but... this cooking technique must be seen to be believed.


Hat tip to Jarrett Byrnes, via Gawker.

Tuesday Crustie: Democratic choice

Vote!

From here.

More than 50% of discovery

Visual of a tweet from Dr24Hours.

Dance! Boogie wonderland!

Name those sharks!

As I mentioned earlier, my parents got to be voice actors for Sharknado 2: The Second One. (They screamed.) I also got to name sharks in the film. The request for the names, as it happened, came exactly on my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary (!), so I named my sharks after my parents.

I was excited when I opened up the email and saw the image of the first shark! Wow! It’s a shark that’s part of a celebrity cameo! Kelly Ripa is dispatching my mon’s shark on Live with Kelly and Michael!

Kelly retweeted a picture of this during the first showing of Sharknado 2.

Then I opened up the next email to see the image of the shark I named after my dad. I am pretty sure you will have to click to enlarge:

... I hoped that this wouldn’t lead to any conflicts in my parents’ household. But I got this email:

My shark is bigger than Dad’s shark na-na-na-na hey hey

Related posts

Meet the voice cast of Sharknado 2!

Meet the voice cast of Sharknado 2!

My parents are Sharknado 2: The Second One.

Sharknado 2 ran a crowdfunding campaign to finance a scene. I initially kicked in because a fraction of the money would go to support shark research by the Abess Center at the University of Miami, who treated me nice during my #SciFund expedition.

One of the incentives was “Scream like you mean it!”, which gave people a chance to become a sound effect in the movie. I got that for my dad’s birthday.

I was initially a bit worried, because my parents are not into horror movies at all. They’re not even into sharks.

But then I got this email from my mom:

Dad did his screaming and emailed it (after trials to see if we could figure out how to email an audio file :). Just an hour or so ago received an email back that the sound was distorted and could he do it again. So probably in the morning we will try again. THIS IS QUITE HILARIOUS.....best laugh I have had in a while - watching your Dad practice screaming !!! His facial expressions are so funny and the first practise sounded more like a moan.

And after they had finally perfected the recording and submitted an acceptable one:

I think we had more laughs with this gift than anything else in years. It was great fun... who would have thought at 74 years old ha! ha!

Since they’d had so much fun recording my dad’s scream, it only made sense that when Mother’s Day rolled around... yes, my mom got to scream for Sharknado 2 as a Mother’s Day present! (Unfortunately, after making so much fun of my dad’s experience, my mother was a bit more demure. She did not allow pictures to be taken.)

If you want to try to listen for my dad during Sharknado 2, listen for this:

Tuesday Crustie: iSopod, the original iPod?

But wait! You can do this!

From here. Hat tip to Jarrett Byrnes.

Tuesday Crustie: “Your kung fu is weak!”

“Now I will show you the power of my ultimate technique!”

Hat tip to Dapper Dan Hart for pointing to this link.

Tuesday Crustie: How to beat the NSA

From I Can Haz Cheezburger.